Until There Was You
When I was a little girl, I dreamed about getting married. And as little girls do, I dreamed that God would send me my Prince Charming. He would just magically appear one day, sweep me off my feet, and we would live happily ever after. I thought I knew what I wanted, but I had no idea.
Then I became a teenager. The time of hormones and angst, wanting to grow up and wanting to stay innocent. The time of first love and the time of broken hearts. I was angry and questioned how God could exist, even though I was taught to believe and have faith. I thought I knew what I wanted, but I had no idea.
Twenties came and went too quickly. I thought I knew everything, and my parents knew nothing. I raged at being independent but was nothing more than a possession, easily hurt by men who claimed to love me. I first met you when I hated my life, but your eyes and that smile caught me. There was something about you. I wasn’t on speaking terms with God, so I never asked for his guidance. I thought I knew what I wanted, but I had no idea.
The next decade or so passed with too much strife and horrible heartache. I no longer believed in Prince Charming or any happily ever after. But whenever our paths crossed, even if only briefly, I always remembered your eyes and that smile. There was always something about you. I finally asked God for help and after long silence received “be patient”. I didn’t listen and believed I knew better so, of course, nothing worked out. I thought I knew what I wanted, but I had no idea.
When I was finally able to quiet the rage and calm the impatience, I found clarity and acceptance. And on a random day in February, we met again. You still had that smile. And this time, it all just clicked. What I found in you was more than I could have ever dreamed and so much more than I ever thought possible. I thank God every day for you being in my life because I never really knew what I wanted — until there was you.
